I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
