OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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