so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
