I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
