i always forget guys have bellybuttons
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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