I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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