The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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