I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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