Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
