oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
