didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
