Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
