thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
