Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
