they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
