I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
ttyl tear gas
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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