mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
is that a dick in a sweater?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
