Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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