He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
