i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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