I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
