You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
