I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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