This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
