Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
