Where is the hickey?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
