a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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