The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
