I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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