I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I think my moral compass just broke
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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