i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
