he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
These tits shall not be calmed
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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