did you get engaged???
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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