Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize