He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
