i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
