I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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