Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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