honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize