My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
