i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
