You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
