I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
