I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Randomize
