I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
why do cheetos always look like penises
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
