So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
