I'm really into asian looking animals
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
