I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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