Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
