Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
