her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize