some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i will never coherently bang her
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
