is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
