OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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