so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
