how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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