Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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