her vagine was all disorganized.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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