STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
