The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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