My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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