My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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