i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
