So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
