One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
