..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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