Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize