oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
